My Challenge: A drawing a day in April

A selection of those 30 drawings.

Okay it's been a while. Strange things can happen between posts. Especially if you leave it a while. So the excuse is............. I had a baby, making me a mother as well as an artist.

It's been exciting so far and has opened more creative doors.

Well I should have posted the above in 2013.........but didn't.

Okay it's now been even longer.

The excuse now is..........I had identical twins January 2015.

New rule. No more children, no more excuses!

I've decided to not beat myself up about it. Why should art and motherhood be a conflict? Surely it's all just part of who I am. I am mother of a 2 year old girl and a lovely pair of identical twin boys, that's time well spent. Yes I have been busy. What an amazing journey so far, it's been a wonder.

As for art, it has taken me a while to realise that creativity can come in many forms.  Anything I do whilst nurturing 3 babies, I should be proud of.

Whilst seriously sleep deprived I discussed how I could stay creative.  
My life partner Rob White (who is a renowned illustrator by the way www.thearthole.co.uk)
 and I came up with the idea to challenge each other to draw everyday. 
So that we couldn't get away with slacking, we had to post each drawing on social media.  In my case Facebook.

I hadn't been completely idle during pregnancy 1 and 2. I had eventually mustered enough energy, creative will and nerve to produce some work about my new world as a mother. This was a huge change in direction and made me very nervous putting it 'out there'. It was in fact very well received and made me determined to keep the momentum going, hence the drawing challenge. 

Pregnancy, birth and the weeks following were much less of a shock and novelty this time round. Meaning I had room for creativity quite quickly. In fact whilst in hospital for 12 days I drew, wrote and meditated. Of course all aboard the hormonal, emotional roller coaster.

The scary blank canvas

 I actually mean scary blank gesso board. It is a daunting prospect and can stop me in my tracks. Like treading on fresh snow, making the first marks on a painting can also be thrilling. But I really need a boot up my bum this time. I'm sure there are plenty of offers coming my way.

These are bits I found at the auction or antiques shops. I have dismantled, stripped the lovely old wooden pieces back, they were all heavily varnished. I then sized with rabbit skin glue and prepared my gesso ground on my double boiler. Several weeks and layers later I have solid enough gesso ground to work on. A fine sand and dust off and I'm ready to go! The half walnut table was beautiful stripped back and my wood loving dad would have gasped as I slapped that lovely creamy gesso over the matched walnut surface. It isn't even veneer! Ouch.

I did leave a prtion showing just to make myself cringe later at ruining a beautiful piece of furniture. As you can see I have started looking for interesting shaped and decorated pieces to paint on. Being inspired by achitectural icons, ancient sculptural gesso works, including caskets, boxes and shrines.

I have been experimenting with burnt offerings while preparing these. Rituals and drawing with fire, wax and found natural objects whilst also playing with sculpted gessoed fabric. Playing is the game, which is why being faced with a white surface is so hard. After spending so much time on preparation it is hard not to get precious about starting the work. I'm generally not precious about my work to the point of stupidity. I like to give work away and it has ended up in a skip at times. It's the process of learning and discovery which has been important.That growth you get.

Having said this I am drawn to the ancient, the survivor, the relic. So therefore, shouldn't I work with this in mind? Something that is real and tangible, that will last, I can bury for the future! Everything is so digital, temporary and transient that I feel drawn to substance in the earthy realness of human existence.Fire, stone, earth, water, touch, taste, tread. Don't worry I'm not about to roll in the mud and set fire to myself. This isn't a performance piece. Which is probably why I'm drawn to neolithic sites, medieval arts and my own personal history, that tangible stuff I can piece together. I feel like I need to make something solid, a portal to the past. About my own personal history that may otherwise be lost in other peoples memories.

Must be my age? Answers on a postcard or blogpost please.

Yet again I wonder whether I've made any sense and how many edits of grammar i'll need to do tomorrow.

My studio and another layer on the painting

It's that time of year again. My teaching work dominates my life, with new students and not much time to do or think about my art. What a lovely class I have though! I'm sure I'll learn loads from them.

This is my space at CAN studio's in Nottingham. I'm collecting boxes and reclaimed items I've got from the local auction. I've promised I will try and work as much as possible on reclaimed wood rather than new. Better quality wood and actually lovely objects that no one wants! Suits my new work and ideas too. Play and play some more. Stripping the varnish and sanding is a bind but well worth it. I'm a little reluctant to paint on a walnut half moon table top though (but remember I got it for under £5) it's beautiful wood. My dad is an expert on wood and makes and restores musical instruments. Recently though he tneds to sort amps and  electric guitars for local folks. He is my guru and made all my boards until recently. Very talented chap, I have alot to learn.


I said I would blog about oiling an icon. My head is in a whizz, so I just had to get the photo's off my camera first and something on here. It will be coming soon and something I'm researching too.

These are my Icons in the studio. I did these before going on the icon course. I wish I could

oil these now. They are closed but on the inside they are acrylic so not compatible and I sealed the surface. I'm working on a new piece featuring palms.  I was really pleased with the feel of these hands.

This is a painting I'm still working on. One of a set of four from a coulpe of years ago. Some just work and others need looking at  again and agian. They are to be solved over time, like a tricky puzzle.

This is one of those! It's starting to work though and I'm doing it alongside another.

This one needs many more layers but is getting there. It's the same painting from the earlier blog but they need to be worked and worked before i think they are finished.

This is a close up and I'm experimenting with more 3D elements built onto the surface on the right.

This is the next layer, I've positioned a gessoed feather at the bottom too. Very beautiful. Still some way to go yet though. Lots of ideas and not enough time!

How I painted a Byzantine style Icon

Princes School of Traditional Art, London
Icon Landscape Painting Course
Tutor: Irina Bradley studied at the Prosopon School of Iconograhy, Russia. PHD student at the PSTA
15th- 19th August 2011
10.30 - 5.30

Day 1

Given a brief lecture and slide show on the history and theory behind Russian Byzantine Iconography from the Prosopon School.
It is different to the Greek technique in many ways especially that the Prosopon technique lets the light through the layers.

I meet 6 other students from Uk and Brazil.

We started with traditionally prepared gesso on wooden board. Traditional boards are prepared by Russian Masters who are trained to only do this bit of the Icon. Very Symbolic. Lime is used generally and supports of oak are glued in place on the back. This stops the board warping. This is often done in the cross shape too which is obviously symbolic but also strengthening. This board was prepared by a master in Russia to a extremely high standard. You cannot get them in the uk.

Muslin is washed 7-8 times to allow for shrinkage and is then glued to the sized board.
In the Uk  and Italy gesso is traditionally made from rabbit skin glue crystals and whiting powder (gypsum) Titanium white can be added and for a more flexible surface linseed oil. However the best quality Russian boards are sized using Sturgeon bladder glue. It is stronger apparently and a much superior quality. This is also used to clarify wines, beers and other liquids. Sorry vegetarians!

Once the muslin is glued to the board the gesso is prepared gently in a double boiler and applied to the board. Up to 10 layers are brushed on in alternate directions and once dry sanded to a very smooth surface.

Some icon panels are arched or can be other elaborate shapes, they often have a sunken central area. This is painstakingly carved and sanded out and then primed as above.

There are already very symbolic rituals related to this preparation. It is totally spiritual and prayers, meditation and complete focus is paramount. Perhaps this is why I love preparing gesso and my boards, even before I associated it with Religion. My parents are Atheist and I was kept out of RE classes and assembly at school. Which now makes me feel very ignorant when it comes to religion.  I do understand why they did this as the teaching was more than a little biased and the bloke was a pillock. It did however leave me with a tolerance, rather than intolerance for all religions and an openess to understand different cultural heritages. Obviously experiences good and bad in life make you appreciate a more spiritual side to life. It opens a door so to speak, if you let it. Any way off on a tangent a bit there.

Gesso the first layer of an Icon represents the beginning, birth, purity and especially light. Obviously muslin, the shroud and I'm sure to Russian Orthodox Christians much more.

Step 1. We all had a photocopy of the drawing and had to tarnsfer it onto the board with carbon paper. Strangely meditative and actually a challenge for me to do as I'm told and follow the tutors instructions. We are all meant to have exactly the same image no room for creativity or experiments, that is not the point. As Irina put it. If the rules aren't adhered to and passed on properly all is lost. Iconography is a language after all. Being able to read an icon is amazing as everything  in it, shape, colour, form has meaning.

Step 2. We then had to score the drawing into the gesso surface and then rub off the carbon until clean and white again. This was time consuming and it was a complex image that in the end we had drawn 3 times over.

Step 3. Mixing the egg tempera and grinding the pigments.

This table was a beautiful way to be greeted each morning. The light coming through the window and all the raw pigments awaiting us. Magic.

An ancient artist working at his painting perceived himself as a creator. In his search for original ways of self-expression, he experiments with different materials and techniques as part of that expression. However, the ancient iconographer sees himself as part of creation — the visible universe created by God. The icon painter submits his will to the Creator of all things. Therefore, in his works he uses the materials God made through the creation of the world. Medieval icon painters made abundant use of natural pigments — both mineral and organic. In Russia, even today these materials are perceived as the most practical and permanent, having survived many years of exposure to the elements. So one still finds in Russian iconography natural clays and minerals used as pigments. From them the iconographer prepares colors with a binding agent — egg yolk — the egg representing the beginning of life.http://www.naturalpigments.com/education/article.asp?ArticleID=7

Grinding the pigments takes alot of patience and effort. But very rewarding. The colours are just beautiful. I am someone who normally uses a very muted palette and I feel colour adds another complication to my process. Is this still my feeling having done this course? Hmmnnnn. We'll have to see in my new paintings!

Pigments
Earth pigments (ochre, blue earth, green earth) Absorb light.
Minerals (lapis, azurite, cinnabar) reflect light

The pigments used in early Icon painting.
White lead, cinnabar, ochre, soot ( birch/grape or beech tree)
Red lead, Verdegris, lapis.

Step 4 Test and test again was Irina's rule. The first layer should have lots of crystals in the egg tempera. Very fluid and darkest layer. Dark to light in very transparent layers. Applied in a very fluid brush movement. Meant to symbolise the chaos of creation. The effect should look like it has not been created by the hand of man or woman! No brush strokes or uniformity should show. The more texture and grittiness the better. Do not go over a mark you have already made or it will lose the light shining through the chaos.

Some pigments in jars, on the right is Limonite which adds the texture or crystals to the first layer.

Carefully painting to the scored drawn areas, everybody intensely following Irina's instructions. 10 min lunch break and then straight back on it!

In the Prosopon school you would not be allowed to mix your pigments for a long time. You would have to master the painting first. It is seen as a very masterly, important and complex part of iconography. Irina however encouraged us to have a go. The pigments are quite precious and very expensive and some rare ( ie you can't buy them in this country or at all). Irina said it is handy to know the odd geologist who goes on fields trips. They might track down a lump of something for you.  Irina tries to only use natural materials in her Icons.
some are very toxic so health and safety was important.

Day 2
The first layer is now dry and the first thing to do is clean off all the gritty crystal of limonite. You can either rub with you hand or using a palette knife. You have to be very careful though as you can scratch the surface. It's very important to wash your hands. After all the texture is removed, the light shines through from the gesso surface beautifully.

My first layer next to Irina's completed example.

So on with the second layer. It's day 2 and I got a go at making the egg tempera

Making the egg tempera, Irina's method
Crack an egg pouring the yoke into your palm without breaking it.
Roll from one palm to the other gently until all egg white has poured away.
Repeat until the yolk air dries.
Pinch the yolk bag with two fingers whilst piercing the underneath with the other hands nails. Catch the yolk in a clean container discarding the yolk sack.
Add a tablespoon of white wine vinegar or white wine.
Add the same quantity again of water, distilled if you have it but not essential.
This should keep for up to 2 weeks in the fridge.
Now just add pigment.

This is the second days work and we were all shattered. It's such intense work. Painting non stop all day. Irina is a fantastic teacher and nobody sat waiting for pigments or instructions even though we were going at our own pace.We really havn't chatted or got to know other students much as we're all concentrating and it's very meditative in process.

Went over yesterday areas with purer lighter pigment washes or veils with lots of sparkle.There are two types of roskrysh techniques in Russian icon painting. One method is to load the brush with color and place it in a small pool on top of the levkas. Then with the tip of the brush the edges of color is expanded to fill in the areas of the form. This method is also known as petite lac. The second technique is to apply the tempera paint in many transparent layers or glazes, known in Russian as lessirovochnogo (лессировочного). Each transparent layer of pigment on an icon must be very thin. A squirrel brush should be used. Irina mentioned about  an unusually hot summer in Russia where all the squirrels died of the heat. She says it's difficlut to get brushed since then. Poor little blighters, if it's not the heat you get made into a brush (for gods sake! Ha) or in this country you're just a pest!
Started first highlights and outlining. Irina talked about chaos yesterday and a language or writing today. Outlining and defining the subject. Describing or intellectualising it. Then we added more light and meaningful form and colour. A really hard day, real focus and complaints about not enough light in the room.

Today i had a doubting feeling. This practice is all about putting your whole into the painting. If i am not a Christian let alone an Orthodox Russian one, am I still justified to do this. I think I still put all of my heart and soul into it but there is something about having that deep belief in Iconography or any other religious art practice.
Do I need to remember that the work is being made to allow me to get an insight into the practice, to allow me to connect with my spiritual inner through my creative outer? The journey is very important.

There is something very important I feel about making art from the heart, the soul of you. It also is tremendously good for my well being and is nourishment. Allowing my heart and soul to swell. (this is what I wrote in my diary after day 2 and meditating that evening). Pah, some might say.
This was written on the wall of the classroom about education and I found it interesting.
Worldly material education
1. Caters to the mind and intellect
2. Promotes desires and attachments, heads to a state of 'Ashanti' or lack of peace of mind
3. Develops the ego and produces anger and unhappiness.
4. Makes one unduly happy when successful and utterly desperate when unsuccessful
5. Helps to conquer the aspects of the outer world
6. Gives information and knowledge

Spiritual education
1. Goes direct to the heart
2. Helps to elliminate desires and gives detachment and 'shanti' or peace
3. Deflates the ego and produces tranquility and happiness
4. Teaches the method of facing both success and defeat in equal measure.
5. Helps to conquer oneself
6. Gives humility and wisdom

Day 3
Really focussed on the water today and the details. Using beatiful crystal pigments and white we defined the cntres of the trees. Always drawing light from the centre. the water needed defining using white from the centre of the spiral. Irina said her master describes it as angels breath, flowing in and out at the same time.
Added more light to the rooftops and detail of the building.

Day 4
Today we added alot more detail to the structure and more veils of wash over the mountains. We added dots of shading to the pillars ( although officailly there should be no shadows in an Icon). We highlighted the steps in the mountain again, going around the edges making it more uniform and squared off. We added more dark blue to the water to define the angels breath or swirls.

Day 5
Added the final, almost clear washes and defined higlights with white. We painted with pure gold leaf ground down for the dark windows into the buildings which represent our inner structure and Bethlehem. Once dried we burnished them to a high sheen with agate. We did a light wash over the background to make it real sparkle. Used ruler to go over straight lines in white. Wrote in the title in Russian 'Bethlehem'. Or that's what Irina said. Might say 'amateur' or 'try harder next time' for all i know! All Icons have to have a name or title generally written in red for it to be properly finished. The border of clay bole and dark green were added 3mm width each. The green was a really gritty mix and hard to paint with. Especially again a very staright line. It needed several coats!

The Icon needs oiling but you should leave an Icon several weeks or even months before doing this.

This is the final stage and with large Icons the most treacherous. It can be extremely difficult oiling an icon. Its the last step and also very symbolic. Think of annointment and such practice. Irina describes when an Iconographer thinks they have finished, they have put all of themselves into it. Abstained from alchohol and meat for the duration. Committed themselves to it completely. This relaxation and feeling of completing means it can go terribly wrong. It reminds me of a conversation I had with a frend Nigel Robinson. He is an amazing person, he has climbed the north face of the Eiger.  Climbers don't tend to have accidents or fall to their death on the way up a mountain, but on the way  back down! He described the feeling climbers have when they've battled to reach the summit. Ecstatic and awestruck they relax, feeling they have accomplished what they set out to conquer. It is at this point most climbers die, when they lose focus, relax and don't take the journey back down as seriously and with as much determination.

As you can see everyone's finished Icons were very similar and very beautiful. Alot of serious commitment and passion had gone into them. In reality this image would be a background in a much larger Icon.

Next Blogpost will be oiling an Icon and tips for meanings.

  

My first carved box

This was another present I made for my nephew. I wanted to give him something he could keep and use forever. Hence it not being childish. He can play with it now hiding his bouncy balls, use it as a teenager to keep his stash of condoms in and later cigars, just for show of course!

I stripped and sanded, sized and gessoed the wood. I built up several layers to allow me to carve the drawings in. I used my trusty animals of the world book for inspiration. I don't draw the image first onto the surface but I do draw them boldly onto paper to get a solid drawing and then get my composition right. Then I just free carved each animal using  a scalpel. My gesso was a good mix as sometimes if I don't get the ratio bang on it can chip alot. I then clean all the grooves out with a dry brush, I flood the surface with water based wood dye (jacobean oak) and then clean off excess with a damp cotton cloth. Any areas I want really polished and white have to be worked on alot and the rag rinsed regularly. I think it gives a beautiful antique and etched look.

Artists and exhibs that have caught my eye.

Whilst visiting my very good friend Pauline Woolley's show in London I came across two artists work I loved. I had to find out more.The exhibition was really interesting but artists were packed in, Parallax  AF, Mall galleries, London. See Pauline's blog for her latest exhibs and gorgeous work.

 Alexis Rago makes beautiful ceramic sculptures.

They are just stunning in real life, fragile, monumental, complex and very, very interesting. He describes his work in part as follows:   I draw together evolutionary biology, archaeology and ethnology with tribal and religious iconography in an exploration that is influenced by museum collections and sacred art. The result is a visual response to a sense of the numinous derived from the consideration of natural forms, their genesis and functions.

His website is well worth a look and  he's a member of the Linnean society.

Well there are definitely similarities in our interests, if not the final work. My paintings started in my interest in the depths and layers of life, particularly from my travels to many different rainforest habitats around the world and later other natural environments. Submerging myself in seemingly alien places and cultures hopefully comes out in my paintings. Coming face to face with creatures great and small. This is where my love of insects started too. I love the first explorers depictions of what they saw in the new worlds. Brillant montages made up of landscape, specimen documentation and anthropological studies. Our dusty museums are full of preserved, pickled, dried, stuffed specimens, etchings, drawings and paintings. Of course more recently my work has also been a personal exploration of spirituality and nature, animal icons, neolithic stones, iconography and religious arts, rituals and symbolism.

I think Alexis Rago's works are fabulous and can't wait to see more. In real life they stun you in there delicateness. I magine them worked in glass too. Although I love the raw bone like quality of the unglazed clay.
He also led me to The Crypt Gallery, St Pancras, London. I definitely fancy showing there if possible someday. Not this year Billie, this year is for play, push, play not exhibition! But remember for the future, that's what this blob I mean blog is for!
The next artist found at the same show was Sooim Jeong.

They are again delicate works. Fragile somehow and beautifully painted. Fleshy, furry, primal yet pure. Beautiful layers of creatures that should seem perverse but infact seem heavenly, dreamlike. Gorgeous creatures layered theatrically like a heavenly circus of life and death. Nature and humanity subtly  and gently squeezed and tweaked. Just brilliant and captivating. The works I saw were quite small, I imagine them huge though. Will keep my eyes open for an opportunity to see them again.

So next i went to Derby Museum.  I met Kate Smith among other artists whilst doing a Post Grad in Arts Practice. This was a number of years ago in Leicester. She currently has a show with two other artists and I loved it. I've recommended to friends. Kate draws in a big way! Her website gives more insight  into her practice and the way she works. But the act of drawing and making marks is fascinating to any artist surely. It's intriguing how she captures this idea in her work in such a beautiful way. You can get lost in the big drawings. A journey, different every time you return.

Photo and write up by artist Natalie Dowse